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November 30, 2004
a note to alan smith (a sonnet)
A note to Alan Smith
There are no commas in your poem at all
Except for proper nouns, no upper case
Nor periods! You've got a lot of gall
Undisciplined unscholarly disgrace!
Your word use is enough to make me "ill"
Not "chuck" or "chunder" as your po'ms insist
"Queen's English" please, not Post-Coloni'l swill
"Relaxed with wine" is pref'rable to "pissed."
And where are the accoutrements of style?
The metaphors and similes and so?
Perhaps you deem alliteration vile?
And could we give some assonance a go?
Your work lampoons each principle I've taught.
It gets what it deserves; a mark of naught.
(c) alan smith 2004
Posted by alan at November 30, 2004 4:42 AM
Comments
we're from different continents and cultures and therefore some linguisitic mysteries appear in the first poem posted but the message is loud and clear. I couldn't agree more and yet I know I'm one of the offenders. Love the humor and whimsy. thanks
Posted by: dana jenkins at December 1, 2004 12:39 AM
Thanks Dana, amazing how many cultural differencs there are. I went a little 'American' with 'period' instead of 'full stop', and leant the other way (naught or nought instead of zero).
po'ms = poems pronounced 'pomes' not 'po-EMs'
coloni'l = col-on-yal not col-on-ee-yal
thanks again alan
Posted by: alan at December 1, 2004 5:23 AM
This poem (and your first one) put me so much in mind of the wonderful late Ian Dury. You have a wonderfully playful way with serious words.
Bravo!
Posted by: Elaine at December 5, 2004 3:08 AM
Perfect form,
Suit-able mastery, keep it on.
oldBob
Posted by: oldBob at December 5, 2004 6:56 AM