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March 28, 2005

Can't write this

Alan Smith March 2005

Today I thought
A general mind sort
Was what I needed most urgent.
Can I really focus?
No. Hocus pocus!!
Magically off on a tangent

Maybe I can pretend
Til up nearer the end
That life can go on as we knew
But wait on a minute
There's already a limit
On what I can and cannot do

But my blinkers hold firm
For most of the time
Their efficiency does them much credit
It's the cramps you see
That terrify me
Well there, take a look, now I've said it

No that's absolute pap
Some mindless crap
My horrors are all clearly known
The greatest of fears
Is that in a few years
I'll be nursing home bound ... all alone

A vegetable sprout
Nothing in nothing out
'cept hospital food and shite
With someone to read me
A book, or to feed me,
And a bed bath, once every night

I'm pretty unsmitten
By what I have written
It shows my depressive streak
A mile or so wide
Go on! Put it aside
Make the most of each day of each week

Let's face it.. I'm dumb
I'm more lucky than some
Who see nothing to harm them ahead
When their time comes
To get off their bums
They're divorced, or they're broke, or they're dead

So I'll plan trips to Old Blighty
Try to grab my wife's nightie
And pour out my feelings in rhyme
Shout for Swannies and Kings
Do a myriad of things
And maximise use of my time

Posted by alan at March 28, 2005 11:31 AM


Hey Allan,keep them comming.

I just love "Can't write this"....someone should
write some music for it!!

Posted by: marie at March 28, 2005 9:43 PM

You wrote this on my birthday, and you said it all. Been through some of the experiences you write about, nearly died several times from anaphylaxis, had a totally terrifying time a year and a half ago when 2 doctors thought I had Motor Neurone Syndrome - I nearly frightened myself to death thinking about what would happen. Thankfully, so far, I only have M.E., but along the way it has taught me many lessons, especially the one about making good use of my time. Just when I start to forget, life usually throws me another life-threatening problem to remind me, like six days in hospital with a suspected heart attack last year - came out of there,went straight to the beach, got a surfboard, and went in the water for the first time in 3 years. Didn't matter that I could hardly surf anymore, just that I could try, that I could get a few feet closer to the Dolphins [Sennen Cove, near Land's End, UK].

So well done Poet, good on you, keep at it, your poem tells you all you need to know about yourself, now all you need to do is to be brave enough to read it again, or perhaps, you will write another one today?...

Keep those poems coming, we need you, you can remind us of how precious our days are.

Hope today is a good day.

Posted by: Blue at March 29, 2005 4:26 PM