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March 30, 2005


I emerged this autumn morning
from the cavern of my head
where the hermit of my mind snores weeks away
his symphony of body noise
convinced me he's not dead
and here, dear friends, is what he'd like to say:

"Thank you for the comments
you've been kind enough to write
I am thrilled by every new one that comes through
but I've been a total slacko
and extremely impolite
by not responding similarly to you

A 'selfish bloody ingrate'
is perhaps a little tough
and words such as 'self-centred' wouldn't fit
but all of these apply to me
accurately enough
the best, perhaps, a 'thankless little shit'

'Take, take, take' has been my creed
with nothing in return,
I won't bore you with excuses, they're too lame
I will flagellate my buttocks
With a cane, until they burn
And bow my head toward the ground in shame

Wait on, you say, that last bit,
Is a little tongue-in cheekish
Is that some of your facetiousness we hear?
Well, um, yeah, would you believe me
If I started acting sheepish?
(But the apology is totally sincere)"

Alan Smith © 30 March 2005

Posted by alan at March 30, 2005 10:40 AM


I'm one of those
(head hangs to her toes)
those ever so slack,
who never seem to write back -
I start with the best of intentions
to reply to the comments and mentions,
but the internet beckons,
just a quick surf she reckons,
hours later -
turn it off, I'd better...
forgot to answer that letter.....

Posted by: Erica at March 30, 2005 4:27 PM

Welcome to the University of Procrastination lol!
Wicked poem - made me grin.

Posted by: Elaine at March 30, 2005 4:34 PM

Thank you! You made me laugh. Something to be grateful for.

Posted by: Nancy at March 30, 2005 6:49 PM

Thanks for the huge laugh! And, by the way, you are excused from "return commenting"! Great style!

Posted by: Linda at March 31, 2005 12:38 PM

Thanks, this made me laugh also. We often have the same debate in our household.

Posted by: Michelle at March 31, 2005 10:21 PM

Glad you had a laugh. Procrastination is a strange word/concpt. It has a sort of 'activeness' about it, implies deliberately putting something off, rather than being merely forgetful, or unobservant, or apathetic. A true procastinator goes through life deliberately making decisions to put something off, and never ever weakens by doing things now. AND NEVER EVER lets an opportunity for procrastination slip past (else it might accidentally be done now).

Thus the procrastinator runs out of time and must either prioritise the decisions to be made, or puut them off and HEAVENS I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, ALAN

Posted by: thepoetofoz at April 1, 2005 11:01 AM

You're good! And very, very funny.

Posted by: Laura at April 2, 2005 9:59 PM

Thanks for an early morning smile. I notice a lot of people read and never say a howdy. Me, I never seem to be silent. :-)

Posted by: Bonnie at April 2, 2005 10:26 PM