May 8, 2005

I'M SEEKING YOUR ASSISTANCE


I am seeking your assistance
to protect me from me missus
who you may now know as Robyn
and you may have read her blogs
she no longer keeps her distance
she writes poems now bejissus
she gets published, leaves me sobbin'
all my sonnets now are dogs

Meantime she rides the wave
of "Meet Robyn, she's the Poet"
That's MY title dearest honey
I mumble to myself
please support my jealous rave
screw her poetry up, and throw it
me? I'd like to be real funny
hide it on a tall, tall shelf

O so funny, meo (sob)
O heck good onya Rob

Oh, I didn't say : The 2005 UTS Writers'Anthology,
I'm sure Robyn-the-poet has details

Posted by alan at 9:03 PM

May 3, 2005

Mafiosa Tic-tac-toe-sa

Mafiosa tic-tac-toe-sa

Dave alcoholically confused
And me? Too drunk to know or care.
Stumbling downhill
Because ships are never up
Sailor logic
Not that we're lost

Night ashore in Naples
Backstreets beyond seedy
We trip on unlit cobble stones
And smell yesterday's meals
Laced with blocked drains and armpits

Identical black Mercedes stand in perfect line
Signpost for a Family business?
Light limps from an open door
Beckoning the foolish

Furtive figures watch through smokey gloom
Dave sees two distant blondes and offers drinks
Champaign pre-opened for convenience arrives
Two paces before the crowsfeet
Just like my mum, says pissed off Dave, unkindly

They smile with gappy teeth : No spik Ingles
To check Dave calls them ugly and they grin
He speaks of impossible sexual acts and genitalia
They reply politely in Italiano
Slurping down the weak warm booze

Dave reads the bill makes choking sounds
Throws all his money barward
Swears profusely, all in Engish
As we head back to the street

Demented Dave disappears behind a merc
To take a piss? If only that was true
Bang-BANG and Dave is standing on the trunk
Bang-BANG he's on the roof
Then he leaps , a single BANG, both feet
Together bend the hood

A shouted Stop! dies on my lips
Our only chance not being seen
He and his heavy leather boots
Are up and over two more cars
Still darkness hides his deeds


Four cars before I catch him
Drag him like a suitcase
From an airport carousel,
Then bump and wheel him in a downhill rush
Away from danger

Hilarious Dave heehaws endlessly
As we reach the ship
And entertain the duty watch
With hugging rolling exuberance
Dave jubilant. Me? Relieved!

Notes:

1. All absolutely true except the name 'Dave', from HMAS MELBOURNE's voyage to UK for the Queen's 25th Anniversary, 1977.

2. I believe all narratives are best writteb with strict rhyme and rhythm, and one day I'll do it here

Posted by alan at 11:41 PM | Comments (1)