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-- 26 September, 2004 --

The Fisherman's Woman

Foam pushed from the bow
Another day chasing the shoals
In the pre-dawn silence
Towards the pinking horizon
He steers his boat across the bar

Her hands wash dishes while
Open window curtains shiver
Plants thrive in pots for her
Eyes always turned to the sea

Calm waters are
Her constant prayer
Afternoons of unheard chat
Reality blurred in unreality
Indigo shadows stretching
Time in slow motion
Yellow sunset, alone.

Posted by robynls at September 26, 2004 10:53 AM

Comments

Wow!! how long has his been hatching. and what (form) is it? Or form free? All of the impact of the languag of haikmu... almost like several half-haiku snapshots in a row. yet from a painter's eye ... Ultra-visual, of the other 4 senses only sound AND THAT BY ITS ABSENCE... makes the isolation/loneliness swell. Great subject powerfully executed.

My fingers itched to suggest change. The ferral 'while' I longed to remove, but it lost something when I did so. No, your words are beautiful. Simple, but just right. (OK, one: reality and unreality, 2 x nearly the same words together? but again, it 'works'.)

And the colours of yours. Indigo, the clear image, yellow, the teaser, making us think.

Superb.

alan

Posted by: thepoetofoz at September 27, 2004 8:27 AM

I agree that there is a heap of great visual imagery here, if ever I'm stuck for drawing ideas I'll have to ask you to give me a poem to inspire me.

Posted by: Detlef at September 27, 2004 9:44 AM

Your poem is great- you can picture as you read. I really enjoy that type of imagery. Do More!

Posted by: Linda at September 28, 2004 3:14 AM

Your "The Fisherman's Woman" was like looking in a mirror. I am that woman. My husband is a lobsterman, and praying for calm seas is a way of life here. I don't know how many days/evenings when he's been late getting in, that I've gotten in the car, with my binoculars, and gone looking for him from the shore. It's a special way of life, not for everyone, but very personally rewarding - not monitarily, but spiritually... (although the lobsters would probably disagree with me there!)

Posted by: Bex at October 1, 2004 11:44 PM

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